If you for some reason want your own cruel goose in your home a la developer House House’s Untitled Goose Game, you can do that now. A Thingiverse user has uploaded a free model to download so people can print their very own mean goose.
It prints in several pieces, so users can print the different pieces in the correct colors. (If you only have one color, you can always just paint it.) The uploader, gynni, notes in the item summary that if you want the goose to be able to hold any of your metal goods, you’ll need a strong 6x2mm disc magnet to attach to the bottom of its beak.
The goose will stand up on its own when holding objects, but it may have trouble with heavier things. Thingiverse user gynni notes that they’re considering making a printed circular base filled with sand to improve the goose’s balance.
Imagine the chaos you can bring with this goose. Hide your roommates keys in the goose’s beak, forcing them to search around until they find this menacing goose in a place where they don’t usually put their keys. Use this goose to hold all of your friends’ bobby pins that end up all over your apartment. Use it to hold up the anime keychains you keep buying for some reason. (I’m now being told that these examples are too specific and that I should stop.)
If you don’t have a 3D printer, then you can always just make memes.